Help! I’m playing the blame & shame game

Tell me if this sounds familiar...

My to do list is miles long and yet most days those boxes do not get the gold star of completion, that elusive check mark that indicates that task is done. Most days I start with the best intentions, sometimes even the night before, the dialog in my head goes something like this… ok tomorrow I am going to get up really early (because that is when I do my best work and that is when the house is quiet of course). I set the alarm for bright and early thirty… then 3 am rolls around… I am wide awake thinking about that darn to do list and all the things I SHOULD be getting done. Somehow I fall back asleep and the alarm goes off a few hours later, which feels like minutes mind you! I hit the dreaded snooze, not once but twice and my magical morning of accomplishing all the things and having time alone has vanished into thin air.

Then that voice in my head starts up again, and boy she is loud and noisy. 

”Why can’t you just get up on time?” 

“Why can’t you just do all the things you said you would do?” 

Blame and Shame hit like a bullet train speeding across the countryside. Here’s the thing about blame and shame it keeps us stuck right where we are.

Why do we blame/shame ourselves? 

Here's the thing about blame and shame...it keeps you stuck where you are.

That voice that is so loud and is pointing out what is wrong with you, the one that digs in to put a spotlight on flaws and faults making you feel like you are not enough? That is your inner critic and she goes out of her way to keep you safe. That’s her job. She makes every criticism that ever could be made about you before someone else can so that you won’t make that mistake.

So how do we rise to move forward and get unstuck?

Try asking her, you inner critic some questions:

• What does she see?

• What is she afraid of?

• What does she want for me?

• What does she want from me?

Becoming aware of your inner critic is a great step to learn how to get unstuck.